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Archive for December, 2018

The Night Before, 2018 Edition

December 24th, 2018, 4:15pm by Jake

Twas the night before Christmas, and on our website
We had an absence of posting, no comments were in sight
WordPress still running Pyslent with due care
Only seldom we write, yet we still come & stare

Seven children were nestled, all snug in their beds
While visions of gadgets danced in dads’ heads
The stock market was tanking, the government shutdown
The whole thing orchestrated by the world’s largest clown

Chiefs and Pats were still winning, Red Sox were world champs
Giants fans counting days until Spring Training camps
Lebron joined the Chargers and Rams in LA
The Raiders in Oakland? They’ll never stay.

Out on the internet arose such a clatter
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter
Grabbed my Apple Watch, don’t drop it this time
Fixing a screen is pricey, costs more than a dime.

The internet was crazy, I’d never seen such a flurry
But I must be quick, I must be in a hurry
Then I just saw him, almost did not catch it.
It’s Rotiveo– the patron saint of gadgets!

Rotiveo wore Mobile Pants, size extra tall
And his clothes were vibrating, must be a phone call
Brought a load of gadgets, and even a game
And he whistled, and shouted, and called sites by name

“Now Netflix! Now Target! And Amazon too!
To Best Buy! To Costco! And Kickstarter woo-hoo!”
All over the web, he searched high and searched low
To find all the stuff, now it’s ready to go!

All across the Internet, Rotiveo he flew
A storm of traffic he did see in his rear view
He found the best deals, on the very best gear
It’s so cutting edge, it will still be good next year.

The net’s overflowing with really good stuff
Getting it to work might be kind of tough
With all sorts of cords and fifty kinds of plugs
(For us early adopters, we’re used to the bugs)

Rotiveo’s got the stuff to make us all gloat,
No Cable, Trump Tower, nor ‘Galaxy Note
The home gets smarter with a Ring and Nest
With Sonos One, the music you pick is always the best!

Joanie and Mike getting ready with presents all wrapped
With enough extra Legos, Adam and Emma would like to get trapped!
Kelvin & Serena still looking down to their boy,
Next year looking up to him, it will still be a joy

Jake and Jen finished Hanukah weeks in the past,
With Jordan’s 6 little friends, they all had a blast.
He said bye to diapers, cribs & plugs
He’s going to school, so now it’s little boy hugs

Brandon’s teen years started off with a bomb scare,
With Tiffany & Evan, nothing will ever be fair!
At Tahoe again, two clans will ski & have fun
Lucas might just head down the scariest run.

Happy in doggie heaven, looking down with such glee
There is Montana, merrily running free
She still sleeps and when she does she still dreams
Mostly of eating, people food I believe

Rotiveo sprang to Roomba (hacked years before)
And away they went, after cleaning the floor
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

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