One Week Ago Today
March 2nd, 2011, 9:53am by Jake
Two years ago today, at Jerry’s in Marina del Rey
One week ago today, I returned from the mall where I had spent an afternoon in Panera Bread surfing the web and relaxing while eating a light lunch. When I got back, late in the afternoon, Aaron went out for a run wearing his Luna sandals, headlamp and other associated ultrarunning gear. I went upstairs to sit with mom, and we talked for about 30 minutes about this or that with the same quick wit & jovial humor as always. Months earlier, I had the occasion to open up to mom and assure her that she didn’t need to give me anything, as mom had already given me so much– raising Aaron & myself, teaching us to be independent, strong & caring. I was in tears but mom wasn’t.
One week ago today, as I sat there, I knew there were a few more tales that needed to be told. Mom was always my rock, even when the roles should have been reversed by all rights. When I was a senior in college, mom was scheduled to get a mastectomy to fight This Thing, and I gave it not a second thought. Meantime, my paternal grandmother was entering hospice. While I knew Grandma Ethel was also fighting This Thing, hearing of the move shot a hole in my heart. I was in tears. Who did I call for support? I called my mother, still recovering from her operation, and cried into the phone as she cheered me up as no one else could. Amazing.
Last May, we had that great Pyslent reunion in Brookline, with my heart heavy with fear that This Thing had morphed into something ever more dangerous. I was comforted by all of you as we hung out, especially our crazy 2-hour trip to park Derrick’s car and sample the finest crappy homemade ketchup in eastern Massachusetts. I could barely speak, and upon seeing my brother & especially my mother, it took every ounce of strength I had to hold back my emotions. Mom was as strong as ever that Mother’s Day, and to celebrate and remember, Aaron, Mom & I drove to her mother’s grave a few miles from our Beverly home. Upon reaching the grave site, I unleashed a flood of tears unlike any before, for it was safe to cry. Mom thought I was crying for Grandma. After unleashing that storm, mom reassured me & spoke some words as we all asked for strength. And I got strength that day, from where I do not know. All the strength I needed these last 7 months I got from my mother, as her bravery in the face of adversity set an example I could never hope to match, but one to which I could aspire. Last week, I told mom all that, except the bit about the ketchup & Derrick’s car.
So one week ago today, I told mom how she gave me my strength & how she would always be my rock. She heard all of it, and knew more than ever what she meant to me. Mom was her regular self that day, just a mother & son sitting around talking like it was any other day. And I feel so lucky & privileged to have said everything I needed to say. Mom’s spirit left her body last night, but it lives on through me & Aaron and all her friends & family. I’ll miss her so much.
March 4th, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Thanks for all your support these past few days via email, Facebook & telephone. Love the flowers too, although it did confuse some folks about who the SungLiDimiccos were… we figured it out! I spoke briefly at Mom’s service today, and I’ll post my prepared remarks here. Shockingly, I was calm enough to even add a few more thoughts to expand upon what I wrote. Aaron & John added some much more poignant thoughts, I confined myself to the fun stuff. Will upload the 500+ pics that we shared today once back in Cali.
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Over the last few days, I looked through the thousands of photos that Mom took over the past decade, and I was reminded once again about the richness of Rachel’s life. Every year brought many new adventures as Rachel traveled around Beverly, New England, America and the world. So quick to make new friends, this assured Mom had a never-ending string of travel companions– and so often with family & old friends, too. Oh the places Mom went & the fun she had, creating art from San Miguel de Allende to Viterbo, Italy, trekking in Nepal and ziplining in Ohio, attending art shows anywhere, cruises around Alaska, the Galapagos & along the Danube.
I hope all of Mom’s friends & family have a chance to flip through some of the hundreds of photos being shared today– they may trigger a happy memory or provide an opportunity to learn a little bit more about Rachel. Please tell your own stories to each other– the more I hear about Mom’s adventures, the more I appreciate how wonderfully she enjoyed her time, and I’m sure you’ll feel the same way.
Mom lived life to her fullest each & every day, a life that all in this room were lucky to share. Thank you all.
March 4th, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Some really touching stuff you’ve written Jake, heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. Your mom was so friendly and vivacious, she really lit up the room. Wish we could have all been there with you today. We all think of you guys as part of our family, and it’s hard to lose family. Hope you got some peace from the services today, and from seeing old friends and family.