The Night Before, V 3.0
December 24th, 2007, 10:32pm by JakeTwas the night before Christmas, and on our website
Everyone had stopped posting, and comments were light
The Board was now serving from its brand new spot
Website visitors were there, although the DiMiccos were not
Pyslent folk were scattered, not yet snug in their beds
While visions of new gadgets danced in their heads
The Chargers played well, the Broncos played poor
Soon the the old Dolphins would be alone no more
Out on the internet arose such a clatter
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter
Grabbed the MacBook Pro, turned it on in a flash
I flipped open the lid and emptied the trash
The internet was crazy, I’d never seen such a flurry
But I must be quick, I must be in a hurry
Then I just saw him, almost did not catch it.
It’s Rotiveo– the patron saint of gadgets!
Rotiveo wore Mobile Pants, size extra tall
And his clothes were vibrating, must be a phone call
Brought a load of gadgets, and even a game
And he whistled, and shouted and called sites by name
“Now eBay! Now Borders! Now Slickdeals and Target!
To Costco! To DealNews! To Best Buy and Market!”
All over the web, he searched high and searched low
To find all the stuff, now it’s ready to go!
All across the internet, Rotiveo he flew
A storm of traffic he did see in his rear view
He found the best deals, on the very best gear
It’s so cutting edge, it will still be good next year.
The net’s overflowing with really good stuff
Getting it to work might be kind of tough
With all sorts of cords and fifty kinds of plugs
(For us early adopters, we’re used to the bugs)
Rotiveo’s got just the right thing for us all
No Foleo , Walkman, nor ‘lectronic pinball
Instead its Wiis, TiVoes and Centros galore,
Plus, Blu-Ray, iPhones, Plasmas and more!
Three next-gen consoles, all with great games
Phones from Nokia, RIMM, and a bunch of no-names
Fujis, Nikons, Pentax cameras work quite well
All of these gadgets are really, really swell
Jake’s FiOS line was installed– it’s fast, hot damn!
While Mike and Joanie visit in Birmingham
Lucas’ first & Brandon’s third Christmas Eve
Montana always dreaming, of food I believe
To Mike and Joanie, in their brand new house
Not a creature was present, not even a mouse
To Kelvin, Serena, Montana & Lucas
Moving to the burbs, right after Christmas
Jake had Hannukah back east, for a bit
The dreidel they spun, the Menorah they lit
To Derrick, Emily and Brandon too
Enjoy the weather, I’m sure it’ll miss you
Rotiveo sprang to Roomba (hacked year before)
And away they went, after cleaning the floor
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”